Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day? My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in (expletive) until I met you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay