mini \\\STRIPES///

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop!"

A young blonde woman in Charleston, SC, was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Cooper River. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Fort Sumter Tour Boat, and we never leave Charleston."

Morris and his wife went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter." Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars. One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, " Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." Esther replied, "Morris, that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars. The pilot overheard the couple and thinking there could well be some fun in this for him, said to them, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up! If you can stay quiet for the whole ride, not say a word, I won't charge you a dime. If you do say a word, the charge is 50 dollars for you both." Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. Th e pilot did all kinds of fancy moves. Not a word was heard. He did his dare-devil tricks over and over, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "I did everything I could to make you yell out, but you didn't and I'm impressed." To which Morris replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Esther fell out, but... 50 dollars is 50 dollars!"

Well, mini STRIPES is back from down under, safe but not quite sound. Not sure how long it is going to take to be able to understand what he is saying. His mixture of Scottish brogue, Liverpoolean slang, Kiwi/Maori and Texas redneck is quite astonishing. He has the tendency to dodge to the left now. Not sure if he can pass the road test for another 6 months. For some reason now when he stripes, he goes up to the curb and stripes backing out....very disturbing where that came from. He's not nearly as lucky with the girls here now because they don't know what "down with the knickers" means. Probably for the best.

he's too good lookin to be a striper that lad!

Nau mai, piki mai, uru mai ki tënei paewhakaata Ta Moko. ...so did he come back with a Moko?

I don't think so, but he hasn't had any parts fall off yet.