New Legislation? I love this one

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT - CONGRESSIONAL ACT WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing." The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%) Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires. Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

Sounds like France

LOL Rob!

ROFLMAO

At first I thought you were serious. I've heard them make even more outlandish statements. Better be careful.....this could sow some seeds in the "plant food for brains" politicians.

I know a few corporations where that already seems to be company policy But it makes sense....at least like Ken said, I wouldn't be surprised at all if some idiot state or national legislator tried to pass such a thing... it's like "no child left behind" STUPID... worked a lot better when I was a kid, don't do the WORK...fail... get left behind or spend summer in summer school doing the WORK... (and embarrassed etc.) The problem started when "they" said holding back failing kids until they learned the WORK hurt their ity bitty feelings and so everybody should "move on up" and graduate whether they passed & learned to read or not... so lots of uneducated kids goofed off and graduated.... =current crop of young people who have a diploma and can't complete a basic job application properly. Now the knee-jerk "no child left behind" system is a mess that means come what may teachers HAVE to get kids to pass ONE set of tests ( not get an education , just pass the test) or their school loses funding and they lose their job... takes control of schools from local city school boards (where it belongs, I can call them on the phone at home or vote them out fairly easy) and give it to the Feds who are doing such a great job at everything else they do

Dang Don - you're hurting my feelings and making me lose my self confidence. I'm gonna hafta report you!

Don you right, my girlfriend is a school teacher..all they do is get ready for test.. and as for the new legislation that means I can quit striping and get a real job? Don't ya just love it when people ask you when you going to get a real job?

Don't start me on the test thing again. I am blessed to have 2 exceptional "straight A" children. Both easily qualified for our school system's "gifted & talented" program and read well above their grade levels, they pass the stupid tests with ease... BUT after working hard all year to be the #1 student in her beginning music class (pre-band) and practicing and singing her heart out to "make the cut" and be one of a small % chosen for the "cadets" (middle school prep-for choir) After nervous waiting for tryouts results for both she got in both ...man was she elated for 3 or 4 weeks!!... THEN AFTER SCHOOL was "officially" over (on the last day) they send a letter that due to "changing academic schedules" only 1 elective is permitted next year. She had to choose one of the two (even her teachers didn't know until two days before school was dismissed so they have to scramble to re-do their plans for band & choir). AND she was ineligible for art BECAUSE she had tried out & qualified for music. Doing some research I discovered it was really because they were adding 1/2 hour (thus eliminating 1 class period) to two subjects that are on "the tests" because this last year that grade (the one she is going into) didn't do as well on those two subjects and it hurt that school's "rating". So my child is deprived of all that stupid stuff (that is proven to increase intelligence and learning ability for a lifetime) like music and art because on "average" a couple of test scores were low and they might lose some $$ if they don't bounce back and make it look like a fluke they were low one year. IT STINKS and is such a joke it should be called a "non education" system. Good students who work hard are deprived of fine arts subjects that enrich lives and last a lifetime because a few teachers somewhere missed the goals and some students brought down the average on the stupid tests. The way the funding-test deal is set up in TX the students who might have failed those tests are in summer school now so they won't be "left behind" but the funding is tied to those test scored during the main "school year".... I guess you figured by now this is a bit of a sore subject for me PS: Our state also requires PE (don't want those overweight kids so make them play doge ball or whatever) BUT serves those wonderful high-fat, high sodium, meals AND they only have 1/2 as long for lunch as when I was in school AND NO talking is allowed in the lunch room to make them eat fast because lunch and recess are combined to cut the total time in 1/2...and get this: if they don't finish lunch "on time" they must throw out what's left because the law requires they get so many minutes of "break" or recess as it was called in my time...now that's a real break, force kids to gobble down lunch in silence so they can hurry outdoors to use our "state approved safety playground" (read that as high dollar equipment covered in plastic) for the minimum # of minutes then back to preparing for those tests. And these idiots have no idea how this type stress & lack of a break affects kids (and their ability to learn)...sheesh....

Don, Take 10 deep breaths, count backwards from 10, then take a pill. Sorry my joke upset you. Right now the liberals are in control, in a few years the survival of the fitest will be back.

No your joke was a good one...I was just commenting on JimJack's comment's...it's worse than you might imagine...and if you can't tell the deal with watching my daughter work so hard, then be all "pumped" because she accomplished her goals...then watched the look on her face when we got the letter...burned me up...at first I didn't understand why and that was upsetting enough but then when I found out their reasons I was REALLY steamed. Right now it's the ultra-right wing conservatives that are in control. I'm surely a conservative by the liberal's standards but by the powers that be these days I'd be called a liberal...they're mostly "off the map" to the right. I saw a very disturbing show on a special 20/20 the other night, if you missed it they have done a ton of non-political research and at no time since the civil war has our nation been so sharply divided . I would have thought the 60's with civil rights & Vietnam etc. would have been very divided, but it was nothing compared to now. By divided it means whichever side you are on you disagree so sharply with the other side there is no room for compromise (not you personally of course, people in general) and the congress spends so much time trying to get re-elected they keep saying what their constituents want to hear but when they get to Washington they get nothing done because if they compromise they will break the campaign promises. Think about how many hundreds of times you've heard "we must fix Social Security" or "we must do something about healthcare costs" or whatever over the last 10-15 years...and nobody has done anything. The thing that worries the researchers is the fact the liberals are getting WAY to the left & the "conservatives" are getting WAY to the right so nobody can find any middle ground. This is so prevalent that we have ended up with the "red & blue" states. That's a fairly new development. Each "side" knows they will win those so it comes down to a few "battleground states" so instead of 50 states electing a president it's really just 5 or 6 (it was obvious here in TX especially, neither candidate campaigned here in the last 2 elections...why waste their time & money, it was a "given" Bush would win...yet in the 60's this state was "iffy" enough they were afraid if LBJ wasn't on the ticket with him, just being a "Yankee" & Catholic might cost JFK the votes the democrats could always count on. So in my voting life the pendulum has swung to where my vote really doesn't count. TX is going republican these days and it's funny because in local races (like counties) the old democrat roots are so deep no republicans even run and things like judges & sheriffs are decided many times in the democratic primary because no republicans run... We still have a great country, I wouldn't choose another, and my flag will be up proudly at daybreak tomorrow BUT I've watched years go by with the same basic problems & either no solutions or one that doesn't work like this "no child" stuff. So I worry what will be for my children (parenthood has a weird way of doing that to you)